By Marilyn Odendahl
The Indiana Citizen
December 6, 2024
Forget compromise. Forget finding common ground. Forget keeping your opinions to yourself.
Utah Gov. Spencer Cox does not want Americans to shy away from disagreements and fierce debates.
“Our system (of government) was designed for more conflict,” Cox said recently. “It was supposed to be a battle of wills, a battle of ideas.”
However, Cox does want the country to engage in “healthy conflict.” The polarization and increasing animosity in politics has not only led to a rise in threats of violence against elected officials at national, state and local levels but has also stymied progress.
“The unhealthy conflict makes it so we can’t actually get things done and our institutions kind of stop functioning,” Cox said. “And that’s a consequence we find ourselves in today.”
To teach Americans how to disagree and still remain friends, Cox launched the Disagree Better: Healthy Conflict for Better Policy initiative while he was serving as chair of the National Governors’ Association in 2023 and 2024. The effort has spawned seminars, podcasts, and informational videos, including a one-minute spot featuring Indiana Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb and former Sullivan Democratic Mayor Clint Lamb. It also has inspired national organizations and businesses to work toward lowering the political temperature.
Cox, a Republican, and New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy, a Democrat, recently spoke about the Disagree Better initiative as part of the Democracy Dialogues series at the University of Virginia’s Miller Center. The discussion was moderated by Mary Kate Cary, director of the Think Again program at the University of Virginia and a former speechwriter for President George H.W. Bush, and by Jennifer Lawless, chair of the department of politics at the University of Virginia.
Murphy said Disagree Better has “hit a real nerve” and he credited Cox for continuing to champion the initiative, even though the Utah governor is no longer chair of the NGA.
“In so many respects, you can’t govern in politics without compromising and finding common ground. So that’s, in and of itself, a good thing,” Murphy said. “But this is different. This is (about) how do we go at each other in a constructive, healthy way, as opposed to all the craziness that we see out there.”
A 2022 survey conducted by Lawless highlighted the polarity plaguing the American electorate. Individuals who were interested in running for office, which included many professionals, such as lawyers, business leaders and educators, were divided into their respective political parties and asked about sharing a meal with a member of the opposing political party.
The survey found that a majority of Democrats would rather have a colonoscopy or play a game that likely would result in their death, rather than have dinner with Republican president-elect Donald Trump. Similarly, a majority of Republicans would rather have a colonoscopy or get a mild case of COVID, rather than have lunch with Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York.
Cox remembered when he was in college and would stay up until 3 a.m. passionately disagreeing and debating with his friends and then go get something to eat with them. The situation now, he said, has “drastically changed,” in large part because of social media and the 24/7 news cycle that are driving the polarization.
Already, Cox said, he believes the trend is starting to reverse, as he sees his daughter and her friends putting their smartphone away and spending more time together discussing and debating. The work to continue that reversal and bring the country together will have to be done at the grassroots level, he said.
“If we’re waiting on our politicians in D.C., for presidents to try to fix this, that’s not going to happen,” Cox said. “It’s always been us, you and I. It’s going to be us, if we’re going to do this. It actually does have to start in the lunchrooms, in the cafeteria, not in the halls of Congress.”
The Disagree Better initiative has a service component, because, as Cox explained, “It’s hard to hate up close.” Membership in churches, social organizations and community groups has fallen and now Americans are lonelier than ever. The resulting tribalism that has been sprouting, he said, is being exacerbated by politicians and political campaigns that are more interested in getting clicks on social media than in governing or solving problems.
Outrage sells and Americans have become addicted to outrage, Cox said.
So, especially when he talks to young people, he tells them that by making small efforts in their own communities, they can help reduce the anger and improve democracy.
“I think one of the mistakes that we make is telling our kids that they need to go out and change the world,” Cox said. “I don’t need you to go out and change the world. I really don’t. I do need you to change your neighborhoods and your communities. I need you to give back. I need you to serve at the local level. That’s how we’re going to fix what’s broken.”
Dwight Adams, an editor and writer based in Indianapolis, edited this article. He is a former content editor, copy editor and digital producer at The Indianapolis Star and IndyStar.com, and worked as a planner for other newspapers, including the Louisville Courier Journal.
The Indiana Citizen is a nonpartisan, nonprofit platform dedicated to increasing the number of informed and engaged Hoosier citizens. We are operated by the Indiana Citizen Education Foundation, Inc., a 501(c)(3) public charity. For questions about the story, contact Marilyn Odendahl at marilyn.odendahl@indianacitizen.org.
