His minions already have added Trump’s name to the Washington, D.C. building. The signs now read “The Donald J. Trump And The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.”
Yes, Trump’s name is listed first.
Democrats are up in arms. They scream that the Kennedy Center received its name by act of Congress to honor the slain 35th president of the United States, himself a decorated war hero and a patron of the arts, and that the decision to alter the name is a violation of both the law and basic decency.
Maybe Democrats should lighten up a bit.
This could be a big breakthrough.
Because Republicans are saying naming things really isn’t that big a deal.
We have this on the authority of no less a personage than Scott Jennings, CNN commentator, veteran of President George W. Bush’s White House and renowned as the man who owns the ear of former U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky.
Jennings doesn’t take a breath unless it has been sanctified by the Republican Party power brokers or allow himself a thought or utterance that hasn’t been pre-authorized by the Trump administration. His words are recitations of GOP gospel.
Thus, we can assume that, should a Democrat claim the Oval Office in 2028, Republicans won’t utter a peep when the name of, say, Ronald Reagan Washington International Airport becomes Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez-Ronald Reagan Washington International.
They’ll sit as quietly as sedated church mice when that happens, right?
Because, as Trump’s GOP apologists assert, naming things isn’t just that big a deal.
Especially if it makes an insecure, emotionally stunted commander-in-chief feel better about himself.
Even before he became president, Donald Trump loved to stamp his name on anything and everything—casinos, office buildings, hotels, a half-baked university that only taught its graduates how to throw away their money, steaks that were as inedible as bricks and a charitable foundation that was dedicated to helping only those with the last name Trump, among other ventures.
The man, it seems, cannot take a step or survive a heartbeat without seeing his name emblazoned on something somewhere. It makes him feel approved, wanted and loved.
Most of us find approval and love from family and friends, but then, most of us don’t live in as transactional a fashion as the president does. We don’t think those dear to us can be purchased and dispensed with as easily as pop bottles.
Because this president has a hole in his makeup, it’s wise to keep him from feeling unfulfilled. When he feels the need to bolster his sense of himself, he tends to do things like strip malnourished children of sustenance and health care and turn ICE agents loose on nannies.
So, for the time being, let’s let him go wild naming things after himself.
If he wants to call Monticello the Donald Trump-Thomas Jefferson National Historic Site in honor of the essential aid he gave the third president in drafting the Declaration of Independence, authorizing Lewis and Clark’s grand exploration and negotiating the Louisiana Purchase, so be it.
If he chooses to redesignate Gettysburg as “Trumpville” to acknowledge the great work he, as Gen. Bone Spurs, performed in holding the Union together and helping Abraham Lincoln draft the Gettysburg—er, “Trumpville”—Address, let it happen.
If he happens to rename the Grand Canyon after himself—actually, this one makes some sense, given the huge void in his soul—what’s the harm?
After all, as Scott Jennings and other Republicans reassure us, it’s just a name.
And names aren’t worth the outrage this rebranding has generated.
Given that line of reasoning, I’m sure the president and his partisans won’t object to the following suggestion.
The next Democratic president should honor Trump by creating The Donald J. Trump And The Jeffrey E. Epstein National Sex Offender Registry. Given that Trump is the first person found liable by a court of committing sexual assault to occupy the White House, that seems appropriate.
One could argue that Epstein’s name should have the pole position, but we know this president likes to be listed first so we can grant him pride of place.
And for Trump defenders tempted to protest, remember—it’s only a name.
Nothing worth getting upset about, right?
